Most people who get married never expect to face divorce. The time surrounding your divorce can be very emotional if you never anticipated your marriage ending this way. This is perfectly understandable.
However, it can be problematic if your emotions negatively affect your attitude toward the divorce process. This is because your attitude can inadvertently cause the divorce process to get more expensive, and it can even impact some divorce outcomes. If you are facing divorce, it can be helpful to understand and avoid the common outlooks that can drive up the cost of your divorce.
Stuck in the past
When one spouse doesn’t want a divorce, it can be easy to get stuck in the past. The spouse may try to delay the process by dragging their feet when preparing for divorce, canceling meetings at the last minute and procrastinating when completing required tasks.
Someone can have many good memories from their marriage, even if it ultimately ends in divorce. The divorce does not take away the good moments that happened in the past, but it does offer spouses a new way forward. It is important for spouses to be sure that divorce is the right option for the situation, but when divorce is inevitable, unnecessary delays to the process can end up making the divorce cost more money.
Pointing fingers
Some spouses increase the cost of their divorce when they get wrapped up in the blame game. It is not uncommon for someone who is going through divorce to blame their spouse for causing the need to end their marriage. When this happens, the spouse may also refuse to accept that they may also have contributed to the breakdown of the marriage.
In some states, having a fault-based ground for divorce may be advantageous, but this is not the case in Illinois, where the only recognized ground is “irreconcilable differences”. When one spouse constantly blames the other during the divorce process, it can cause arguments that are unnecessary and unproductive. This type of argument can delay the process and hamper negotiations, which often ends up making the cost of divorce increase.
Seeking revenge
Sometimes, a spouse can be so angry and hurt that they think revenge will make them feel better. Someone like this may end up fighting for divorce outcomes that they don’t actually want because they think it might hurt the other spouse or because they are worried about evening the score.
It is reasonable for a spouse to protect their interests and seek their fair share. However, it can be costly for someone to pursue outcomes that they don’t actually want. Instead, it may be prudent for a spouse to know what they really want and need. Then, they can focus their divorce strategy around those goals.
There are many factors that can affect the cost of a divorce. Some of these factors may be out of your control. However, you can control your attitude toward the divorce process. The mindset you have during divorce could be one of the factors that can keep your costs down or drive them up.