Moving forward with a divorce can feel like a small step in an overwhelming process. You and your spouse may have been talking about divorce for a while, but now it is time to start sharing the news with your loved ones.
It can feel overwhelming when it is time to talk to your loved ones about getting a divorce. In many ways, the first conversation can feel like a benchmark for what support you will have through the process.
Here’s what you should consider as you decide how to talk to your loved ones about your divorce.
The smaller the group, the better
Sharing that you are getting a divorce can start to feel exhausting. Still, the first conversations you have with your loved ones about your divorce can impact the support they can offer in the future. As you think about people you need to talk to, consider people who know each other and with whom you intend to share the same information.
It can be awkward if you are talking to two or more people and one person asks a question you do not feel comfortable answering in front of the others. When you reduce the size of the group, you will all be more comfortable sharing information and support.
Talking to the kids
Depending on your situation, it may not be appropriate or feasible for you and your spouse to talk to your children together. If possible, you and your spouse should share what is happening and what you know about the process. Often, children will be concerned with the future and what divorce means for the family; if you can talk to them together, you can relive some of their worries.
If you and your spouse cannot talk to the children together, it is essential to take extra care in talking to your children. While you and your spouse are ending your relationship, your children will very likely need to maintain their relationship with them. You should take care to make the conversation age-appropriate and give them only the information they need to know.
As you navigate these conversations, remember that while you may have had several conversations with others, it can be difficult for each recipient to hear the news. Try to have conversations when you can approach the discussion with patience.