One of the most important things for children who have parents going through a divorce is to ensure that they have a solid foundation. By showing them that you’re a parenting team when the split happens, you’re helping them to feel more secure.
There are many ways that you can help them as they adjust to living with their parents in separate households. The key is to pay attention to what their insecurities are so you can address them each in turn.
Keep a consistent schedule
You need to keep a consistent schedule so the children know what to expect each day. They should be able to continue doing the extracurricular activities they enjoy. Being able to spend time with friends and having time for school activities are also important for children.
Set rules and expectations quickly
Some parents think they should coddle the children because of the divorce; however, doing so sets a very confusing precedent for the children. They may not understand why they can’t continue to do things you allowed during the beginning of the divorce process once you’re ready to reestablish a routine. It’s always best to set rules and expectations from the start. This includes laying out the consequences and rewards that you will continue to use with the children.
Communicate directly and respectfully
Both parents must be able to communicate with each other respectfully. Never try to have the children pass messages back and forth. Direct communication ensures messages are relayed properly and gives you and your ex a chance to talk things over when there’s an issue going on. Take breaks if you’re discussing something contentious and things get heated.
Children who have parents working together to ensure they have what they need typically fare better than those who have feuding parents. Being able to get a parenting plan in place at the start of the divorce is typically best so the children can thrive based on what’s best for them. Working with someone who can help you to come up with these terms might be beneficial since they can help you troubleshoot creative solutions to challenging issues.