By the time your marriage reached its breaking point, you had mentally moved on – so it’s no surprise that you’re already wondering if you can start dating again before your divorce is final.
Can you? Absolutely. Should you? Probably not. Here’s why dating during divorce can be problematic:
You could run into allegations of marital waste
Illinois is a no-fault divorce state and dating while your divorce is pending isn’t considered “marital misconduct.” Even if it were, that would have no impact on the way that the marital property is divided – unless you use a lot of marital funds on your new partner.
In other words, you have to make sure that any money you spend related to your new romance isn’t coming out of the financial resources you share with your spouse. That means making sure that you don’t use the joint bank account to fund a romantic vacation, pricey dinners or expensive gifts. Otherwise, you may have to turn over a disproportionate share of whatever is left to your ex when the remaining assets are divided.
You could make the divorce proceedings more volatile
No matter how deeply your relationship with your spouse has eroded, you may be trying to get through the divorce without litigation. Starting a new romance before your marriage is “officially” over could antagonize your spouse and prompt them to suddenly become far less agreeable to whatever terms you propose for the split — ending all hope of a peacefully negotiated agreement.
If child custody is an issue in your split, you could also run into issues in that area. Your spouse may use your dating life to argue that you aren’t very committed to your children and that your current lifestyle affects your ability to be a good parent. You could also be seen as insensitive to your children’s feelings if you introduce them to your new partner while the divorce proceedings with their other parent are still in process.
You may have to worry about reputational damage
This is a situation that doesn’t apply to everybody – but it can affect people who are prominent in their community or who have professional appearances to uphold. If you’re in business for yourself, for example, you may not want to do anything that can create a lot of negative gossip about your private life, since that can detract from your business endeavors.
Dating during this time could also endanger some of your business connections or customer relations. Some people take a moral stance and disapprove of any kind of extramarital relationship before a divorce is final. They may see you as an adulterer, even if you don’t see yourself that way. Dating while you’re in the process of a divorce can actually leave you feeling more socially isolated, not less.
At the very minimum, when it comes to dating during your divorce, you need to proceed with caution. It’s far better to get some legal guidance that is specific to your situation than to take a chance with your future.