Dividing property in a divorce can become a contentious exercise. Sometimes, couples spend more time fighting over who gets a particular painting, piece of furniture or fitness equipment or even a vacation souvenir than their retirement or investment accounts. That’s because they generally have legal guidance for those larger assets but typically deal with the “smaller stuff” on their own.
Unfortunately, it’s not unusual for divorcing parents to battle over who gets their children’s belongings – more specifically, which home those belongings will stay in. Couples can prevent conflicts over their child’s property by remembering that it belongs to their child – not to them.
At a time when a child likely feels a sense of insecurity and anxiety about their future, it’s important for them to choose where they’ll keep their belongings as they transition between homes. Of course, parents should have the final say. Some things are small enough to bring back and forth. In many cases, parents should both keep essentially the same items on hand – like clothing basics, toiletries, games and toys.
What’s not healthy for parents to do is insist that an item they purchased for or gave to a child remain in that parent’s home. That goes for things they already have as well as future gifts and purchases for holidays and birthdays.
A child’s home encompasses both parents’ residences
If you’re divorcing, it can help to think of a big roof over both of your homes. That is your child’s new home. There are many ways to help a child feel like both of these homes are theirs if you’re sharing custody. That can involve putting your foot down when it comes to items of a large size that may fit in one home but not the other or when something is simply too cumbersome to lug back and forth, but otherwise remaining flexible.
What should generally not factor into the decision is which parent gave an item to a child. Broadly, the child’s best interests should guide those decisions.